As the polyamory community grows, he said, it needed a “gateway,” something more approachable than sex parties or dinner with a room of open-minded strangers.Other online fetish networks exist, but, as the Kotango website explains, “a lot of people are looking for a sexy, intelligent community without the sleaze and shame typical of many conventional dating or swingers sites.” Mainstream social networks wouldn’t cut it, either: Facebook’s privacy settings aren’t quite private enough, and even on dating sites like Ok Cupid it’s hard to find like-minded individuals (polyamory, after all, isn’t just about sleeping around.) “Even if you’re joining a closed group on Facebook, unless your privacy settings are pretty tight it will still notify your friends that you joined the group,” said Winters.In recent years, polyamory has cropped up increasingly in mainstream media. In San Francisco, the tech community has long been a part of the scene.Research suggests it may be the next sexual revolution, with one recent estimate pegging the number of open polyamorous families in the U. “Hackerdom easily tolerates a much wider range of sexual and lifestyle variation than the mainstream culture,” wrote Eric Raymond in the 1996 book “The New Hacker’s Dictionary.” “Hackers are somewhat more likely to …And as interest in open relationships grows, so too does a need to reach a larger, more diverse and perhaps even more vanilla crowd.Kotango, a new social network for those who asrcibe (or aspire) to something other than monogamy, intends to do exactly that.The site’s name is a portmanteau of tango — “unlike other dances, it doesn’t have a pre-determined set of steps,” the website explains — and community, cooperation and connection.
An earlier term, polyfidelity, was coined in a San Francisco commune in the 1970s.ince moving from Louisiana a few years back, William Winters has ascended to a sort of unofficial throne, the de facto king of the East Bay polyamory scene.The poly potlucks he hosts have surged in popularity and tripled in regularity.There are individual profile pages, where people list their favorite books, describe their dream dinner party and identify their “relationship model” of choice.Like most dating sites, Kotango users go by avatars accompanied by headshots.So far, it has attracted over 5,000 users, about 2,000 of them in the Bay Area.Here is a snapshot of some of the happenings on the site: a query as to how to tell the kids that mom and dad are polyamorous; a nuanced discussion of the difference between jealousy and envy; and advice for newbies on managing the complex emotions of relations with multiple lovers.It would appear that in the Bay Area there is an expanding interest in upending the traditional relationship.But even in a region where alternative sexual cultures thrive in the open, the polyamory community has remained a relatively small circle.practice open marriage, or live in communes or group homes.” More recently, the polyamory researcher Elisabeth Sheff noted that the majority of polyamorists are well-educated white, middle- or upper-middle-class people who often work in technology, education, or health care.Whittaker first began hosting kinky parties during the first tech boom, founding the Mission District sex club Mission Control.